#124 - the one on the news and your peace

February 27, 2022

I’m not alone in trying to protect my peace and staying informed of what’s happening in Ukraine (and continuing to be aware of the ongoing struggle in Afghanistan, Palestine, Somalia, Yemen, and other countries fighting wars right now).

I wish I had tips for you, because I am failing to do so.

I can’t stop Googling or scrolling Twitter. I went on an Etsy digital download purchasing spree to support Ukraine-based artists (I might have to print a few of these coloring sheets for myself - Rho definitely loved them).

Basically, I’m stuck in a news spiral and I don’t know how to get out of it.

Part of this spiral is a personal reckoning, of sorts. All of us are bombarded with this news in a way we haven’t been about Afghanistan (the withdrawal being the exception), ongoing updates of what’s happening in Israel and Palestine, and the very fact that we ordered air strikes in Somalia and Yemen is still in a war.

This is not meant to distract from what’s happening in Ukraine, where the invasion of a country’s sovereign rights is being challenged by a madman whose own citizens do not support this attack. But it’s meant to shed light on the fact that similar atrocities are happening in countries where Brown and Black people live - and has been happening for months, if not years - and most of us aren’t aware of it.

It’s a mindf*&k.

There is no playbook on how to be an engaged global citizen who is decolonizing their worldview, and protecting your peace in the process.

But it’s not going to happen overnight.

With each of these conflicts comes an influx of interest, action, and the almost instant waning once something else happens. We did it when bombing in the West Bank intensified last year, when the United States withdrew from Afghanistan last summer, and right now. Once the reporting is focused on another issue, our attention naturally is redirected and these stories that occupied our hearts and minds fade away.

None of us alone can fix the ills of the world, or make a tangible impact on every single issue. But we can all do something, on a regular basis.

It’s as easy as regularly reading an international news outlet’s website, or supporting their Patreon. It’s establishing monthly donations to relief organizations who are the first on the ground (like IRC, WCK, UNHCR) as well as local organizations (Tikva Odessa is personally vetted by a friend of mine and who we’ve donated to, and I have a monthly donation set up to Code 2 Inspire, supporting women’s coding education in Afghanistan).

And doing it regularly, with intention.

It also means contributing to the public square, as my friend Emily reminds us to do on her very smart Instagram. Taking these actions is a good first step, but talking about what we’ve learned with our families, friends, and even on social media is the necessary second step.

And sometimes it means to step away from your phone or computer and doing something to recharge your energy. For me, it’s preparing a meal, reading a book, or playing with my kids.

I’m signing off this evening to make enchiladas and have a dance party with my boys while they’re baking. I hope to read a chapter or two of the first Crescent City book after packing for my trip tomorrow (and, you know, unpacking from last week’s trip).

I’m going to do my best, and continue to check in to see if my best can be better.

What I Read This Week

Abigail

  • Meant to be Mine by Hannah Orenstein - I'm personally in a reading rut so I am recommending my friend Hannah Orenstein's next book, Meant to be Mine, which comes out in June. Hannah's books are all a delight (she has three to read while you wait) and I look forward to this one, which discusses questions of fate and love and the magic of Jewish grandparents. I can't wait to read it.

Shibani

  • A Rogue of One’s Own A League of Extraordinary Women Book 2  by Evie Dunmore - Historical romance is not typically my genre, because they tend to be very "woman needs rescued by strong man" and that's not my romance vibe. Give me an independent woman who falls in love with a feminist man and I am SOLD. In that light, I LOVED A Rogue of One's Own by Evie Dunmore. It is book 2 in a series of romances that feature feminists during the suffrage movement in England, and the men who support them.

Hitha

  • The Astronaut and the Star by Jen Comfort - space romance is an incredibly niche genre, and I welcome Jen Comfort to this community with open arms. Her debut novel The Astronaut and the Star was so good that I couldn’t stop reading it from my phone’s Kindle app (I didn’t have the connectivity to download it onto my kindle), and I started reading it again from the beginning because it was just that satisfying on all fronts - the NASA and space side of things, an absolutely steamy romance, and a thoughtful inclusion of neurodiversity similar to that of Helen Hoang’s books. It’s still available as an Amazon Kindle First Look before it’s officially released on Tuesday.

I’m also reading Castles In Their Bones, House of Earth and Blood, and Borderland right now. Reviews coming once I finish them!

Top #5SmartReads of the Week

The rest of the week’s reads (and conversations!) are below:

Your Questions, Answered

What’s your go-to/ daily tote bag for drop off, errands, etc?This tote bag (which is quite on-brand for me, haha)

What metrics/numbers will you be looking at to feel safe and unmask indoors?I honestly don’t have a baseline number, because I predict we will be hit by another variant causing a huge spike, and mentally it’s easier to stay in “active pandemic mode.”

It’s our third year in pandemic life. I don’t mind masking indoors and diner outdoors or inside during off-peak hours, or continuing some of my kids’ activities over Zoom at least until Rhaki is vaccinated. And even moving forward, I don’t mind masking inside public transportation, museums, and shows during cold and flu season.

This is what our family feels comfortable with.

Best small business fine jewelry businesses you would support? HAVERHILL (code HITHA15 still works!). I also love Seven Steps Jewelry, and Local Eclectic has some amazing designers creating fine jewelry on their website as well.

Loved how you manifested your hubby! Advice for older women who are still searching for a guy? Got an entire chapter dedicated to this in my book!

I met and married my husband when we were in our mid-twenties- we were babies and had a lot of growing up left to do. When you’re more settled, it becomes more a merging of lives instead of building a life together, which I think offers a lot more freedom and flexibility!

My friends Clara & Amy Nobile are amazing dating coaches that I would highly recommend talking to and see if they may be a fit for you.

What are your inexpensive fashion finds/go to two in one easy makeup finds?ABLE has incredible basics that are sustainably made, and I love Quince’s sustainably make silk and wool basics.

On makeup, I love Wander Beauty’s new mascara in the pink tube (it’s also a lash treatment) and their blush/illuminator stick. I also mix a dab of their foundation with Supergoop’s sunscreen oil for a really pretty tinted face oil. They are the masters of multitasking beauty and I love them!

About how many books do you read a year? How do you decide what to read next?I don’t really keep track! I would guess over 50 new books a year, and if you include re-reads, closer to 80?

I’m an emotional reader. I have my thriller moods, nonfiction moods, historical fiction moods, fantasy moods, and am almost always in a romantic mood. Whatever mood I’m in, I pick a book based on it!

Athletic Greens referral link?Here you go!

I hope you find your balance of staying engaged with the news AND protecting your peace.

xo,HPN

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