5SR - August 3, 2023

Shibani on sandwich caregiving, likability, and making friends

Today’s #5SmartReads contributor is Shibani! She spends her free time reading (she's read over 135 books already this year), attending concerts and attempting to grow a flower garden. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio with her husband and 2 rescue dogs. You can find her book reviews in her Instagram highlights and on Good Reads.

I'm at the age where I'm starting to have a number of friends who find themselves having to take care of and make medical decisions for their parents while also taking care of their children - the caregiver sandwich. It's certainly not easy, and this essay talks about what that feels like.

Not everyone has this experience, but if you do, I encourage you to go easy on yourself.

If you know me in real life then you know that the topic of imposter syndrome makes me instantly see red.

Years ago I read that an article that talked about how imposter syndrome is not real, but what is real is institutional patriarchy making women feel like they don't belong, and that they have to be exceptional to rise to leadership. That message has stuck with me, and it's great to see women like Sallie Krawcheck reiterating it.

This article links to a podcast episode that's definitely worth a listen.

Examining a woman’s likability is absolute bull**** because this is something we never do with men. It’s even worse when women make likability comments about other women.

The next time you’re evaluating a woman in a professional environment, I challenge you to really, honestly examine if you have a likability bias.

If you’re a feminist, you should also care about climate change, because the reality is that climate change puts more women at risk for domestic violence. In fact there’s a direct correlation between increased temperature and increased instances of domestic violence.

As usual, I like to end #5SmartReads with something fun. Today, I'm ending with friendship.

I’m a natural extrovert so I find it relatively easy to make friends. I end up chatting with a lot of you, and sometimes (a lot of times) these online friendships change into real life ones. I’ve never been one of those “no new friends” people, so cheers to always making friends!

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