5SR - August 4, 2023

Dr. Jessica Wilen is an executive coach, organizational consultant, and proud mom of two school-aged kiddos. She recently launched a new group coaching program specifically for working moms who want to feel more in control of their lives called The Clarity Collective. Grab your spot before early-bird pricing ends on August 23!

The Motherhood Fallacy of Self-Sacrifice (Is My Kid the Asshole?)

I absolutely loved this article from Melinda Wenner Moyer about “the belief that a parenting choice that makes your own life easier is, by default, bad for your kids.”

As Moyer writes: "I am calling it the motherhood fallacy of self-sacrifice — the pernicious but pervasive idea 1) that we are only good mothers if we are constantly focused on our kids, and 2) that the moment we prioritize ourselves, we are directly harming our children. It’s a fallacy because this isn’t actually how it works. What’s good for us isn’t, by default, bad for our kids. It’s far more common for the opposite to be true: What’s best for us is often best for our kids. But we have come to believe this lie because our misogynistic culture tells us, over and over again and in so many ways, that motherhood is primarily defined by self-sacrifice.”

As moms, we tend to put so much pressure on ourselves, but the reality is that communal parenting has been the norm for most of human existence. By beginning to move away from the unrealistic and damaging expectation that, as mothers, we have to meet every need, we not only benefit ourselves, but also our kids and our larger community.

A Tragically American Approach To The Childcare Crisis (The Atlantic)

I know I’m a broken record on the topic of affordable childcare, but it’s such an important issue. And it doesn’t have to be like this!

As Elliot Haspel argues, making childcare an employer-sponsored benefit is an ill-advised and incomplete solution to this problem. Off the bat, millions of workers won’t qualify for these benefits either because they work part-time or are on contract status. And benefits for all workers are always vulnerable to cutbacks when economic conditions worsen.

Haspel summarizes it succinctly and powerfully: "In the end, the country must decide what child care is: a right that every family deserves and that is worth investing in, or a luxury to be purchased by those with means and bestowed upon a lucky few at their employers’ whim."

Women in tech industry disproportionately affected by Big Tech layoffs (Washington Examiner)

This was a disappointing read. Despite the fact that women make up 26% of Big Tech employees, they accounted for 45% of recent layoffs. What is driving this discrepancy? Probably multiple factors, but at least one reason is that non-tech jobs (like HR, recruiting, and marketing)—which women are more likely to hold—were disproportionately targeted in this recent round of job cuts.

This Quick Conversation Can Help Keep Guns Out of Children’s Hands (19th News)

It's sad that this article even needs to be written, but--unfortunately--it's super important. The reality is that more children die from firearm accidents than mass shootings.

This article offers practical suggestions for how to approach conversations with other parents about the presence and storage of firearms during playdates.

Are Children a Marginalized Group? (It’s Been a Minute, NPR)

Lately I’ve been trying to become more of a “podcast person”. So, in that spirit, I’m recommend a podcast as one of my "reads".

This is a thoughtful dissection of the ideas and systems that govern modern childhood. In our current culture wars, the “protection” of children is often invoked, but children themselves have little to no say in their own lives.

For parents of tween and teens, it would be great to listen to this with your kids and use it as a launching pad for an interesting conversation.mothergwomen in tech