Ask Me Anything - August 14, 2020

How are you doing? What are some things you recommend to create joy and stay motivated?

Is it just me or is Leo season just too much?

Our family is safe and healthy and I’m incredibly grateful for that. But I’ve struggled to settle back into a routine, getting everything done every day, and the same things that you all are struggling with.

A few things that do help are meditation (I’m still loving and using Headspace), needlepointing while listening to an audiobook, getting outside for a walk (WITH A MASK, OF COURSE). I shared some other things that have helped me here.

What’s the best way to vote given the USPS defunding?

Your completed ballot should be in the mail by October 22nd, and affix extra postage to confirm it is received on time or drop it off at your local elections office or a ballot drop box.

If you’re from California, Colorado, Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Vermont, Washington, or D.C., you’ll receive a ballot to your registered address automatically.

If you live in Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, or New York, submit your absentee ballot requests NOW because you’ll have to provide a reason to vote via absentee ballot.

Make a plan. Follow the plan. Be early.

Book/resource recommendations for getting involved in business investing like you?

Arlan Hamilton’s book is outstanding (full review here). If you don’t meet the requirements to be an accredited investor, check out iFundWomen (my portfolio company) and Republic. iFundWomen is strictly crowdfunding - while you won’t receive a return, it’s an excellent way to evaluate companies and put some cash in the companies whose values speak to you. There is an opportunity to earn a return with investments made on Republic, but only invest what you’re willing to never see again.

If you do meet the requirements to be an angel investor, Pipeline Angels offers an excellent bootcamp to learn the basics.

Do you speed read? How do you get through so many articles and books?

I learned how to speed read back in high school thanks to speech and debate. I did extemporaneous speaking, which involved researching and writing and memorizing a speech about a random topic pulled from an envelope in 30 minutes.

Do you use a retinol?

I use Wander Beauty’s Do Not Disturb and it’s the best one I’ve ever used.

Code HITHA15 gives you 15% off your order. I am a #WanderPartner, and receive a commission on purchases where the code is used

What’s your favorite TV show right now?

I binged 3 seasons of Selling Sunset in two weeks.

Any weekend plans?

Letting the kids enjoy the kiddie pools in the backyard, grilling and cooking whatever’s in the fridge, hopefully reading this book.

Best article to learn more about QAnon and the child trafficking stutff?

This one is a solid recap.

Do you have any reccos for husband’s birthday on the pricier side?

My friend Jen has the best taste in gifts. I recommend everything on this list.

Favorite pen brand?

Pilot G-2, 0.7 mm rollerball pen.

How you served on a jury before? What was it like?

I haven’t! I wish I had a more exciting answer for you.

Favorite Peloton cycle instructor?

On the bike - Cody, Ally, Hannah F, Robin, Alex

On the tread - Matty and Adrian

On the mat - Aditi

Are you paying the people curating #5SmartReads for you, since it’s part of your job?

Absolutely. I’m offering $35 for every submission, and am encouraging them to use their own affiliate links in the posts. My goal is to bring on 5 regular contributors to help scale #5SmartReads, with a more competitive payment structure.

How do I get through to my brainwashed, Trump-voting loved ones? I live in a red state.

Oooof. I’m going to sound a bit harsh here, but after reading many anonymous ‘why I’m voting for Trump’ shares on social media, here is my take.

Trump’s lies have literally trumped the truth. Some of the lies his supporters believe are:

• Trump has appointed more women in his cabinet than any other president (False).

• That he’s the only president to address sex trafficking (False - also, putting money into trafficking without strengthening other social programs makes things worse, not better).

• Limited government and upholding the Constitution (Trump’s overreach of executive power is the most severe in modern history).

• Claiming credit for the lowest Black unemployment rate in history (he didn’t do anything - the Fed keeping interest rates at or near zero contributed to it).

• Criminal justice reform and the First Step Act. Yes, he passed the bill. But a bill is just the start - the program has to be adequately funded, results have to be tracked, and you need to continue building upon it legislatively. So while the bill is on the books, the DOJ continues to block hundreds of eligible beneficiaries. Additionally, our federal law enforcement officers arresting peaceful protestors and throwing them in unmarked vans seems to be completely antithetical to the ethos of this law.But don’t get me started on that…

• Only president to stand up to Big Pharma. I work in the pharmaceutical industry and am well aware of the many changes it needs to make to actually deliver healthcare versus disease management. This is a solid state-of-the-pharmaceutical-market in America that’s the clearest I’ve read from a complicated situation. But has Trump - or any president, for that matter - stood up to Big Pharma? Nope. Not a one.

• The economy. The stock market has done extremely well under Trump, but that largely benefits those who are invested in the market. Historically, recessions occur under Republican presidents and recoveries under Democratic presidents. Trump benefitted from the cyclical nature of the economy and the effects of Obama’s economic recovery, and used deregulation to bump up the market by quite a bit, and the economy by a bit. With regards to the COVID recession, there’s not a whole lot that Trump can do further. Interest rates are already bottomed out. Government spending is insanely high, but mostly going to large corporations versus individuals. And certain industries are poised to be eliminated, which will increase the unemployment rate. Let’s also talk about the fact that Trump was a disastrous businessman - multiple bankruptcies, financial fraud, bailouts from his father. What he’s good at? Branding himself as a success - to the detriment of the US economy and the world order.

But here lies the problem. Trump supporters will not believe any of these facts. Trump wins because his message is so simple and he - and conservative news outlets - repeat them so often that you can’t help but start to believe it. Trump is also the master of controlling the news cycle, so he does direct If anyone can help you, it’s Jonathan Haidt. Highly recommend reading this interview to find a place to start.

If you had a baby girl, what would her name be???

Names are deeply personal, and who knows if we’ll have a third. Respectfully, I’ll be keeping them to myself.

What did you think about Indian Matchmaking?

I enjoyed it and I’m highly aware of the many issues it highlighted and raised conversations about.

What I loved - the women working with Sima are strong and smart and beautiful and I want to be friends with all of them. Aparna is my favorite (and has become a friend) - she knows what she wants in a partner, and isn’t afraid to put it out there.

What I appreciated about the show - it showed that Indians are not a monolith, and did show a peek of the diversity of India and the Indian diaspora - in beliefs, in religion (though there were no Muslims in the show and I feel that was a huge missed opportunity), and in language and food and culture. I especially appreciated seeing Telugu and Tamil people represented in this show, as I feel that North Indian culture tends to dominate the western view of India.

What the show brought up - colorism, sexism, and racism within Indian culture. This show did show that our culture has these issues and it grabbed Western attention for the first time. I hope this show does come back for a second season so we can continue to dig in and discuss these issues more openly.

Perimenopause

For those who are new here, I recently discovered (and had confirmed by my OBGYN) that I’m going through perimenopause. Kennedy Ryan’s Queen Move had me requesting a doctor’s appointment (sore breasts, mood swings, weight gain around my midsection, irregular periods, the whole 9 yards), which confirmed it.

Elektra Health’s Perimenopause 101 was a really helpful resource. My bra recommendations (supportive, no wire) are listed in the following question, and Equilibria’s softgels and drops have helped me manage my mood swings and the relief cream has been a godsend for my breasts.

Any updates on the bra search?

LIVELY is far and away the winner. This bra is as supportive as any underwire one, and I also love this bralette and this sportier style.

This Calvin Klein bralette reminds me of my favorite nursing bra, and is a great choice for at-home lounging.

What signs/symptoms did you experience with prenatal depression? How did you know it wasn’t the baby blues?

My prenatal depression symptoms were much like my postpartum depression ones - a near-mania about keeping things and my kids clean, extreme mood swings (laughing one minute, crying the next), an almost obsessive need to be in control of EVERYTHING, and a tangible disconnection between my mind and my body. It was like I was on autopilot and watching myself live my life, and not recognizing it at all. My father-in-law is a psychiatrist and was the one who identified that my symptoms weren’t just the baby blues with Rho. When I started feeling this way during my pregnancy with Rhaki, I called him and he told me about prenatal depression. I quickly followed it up with a visit to my OB-GYN, and then starting regular therapy at The Motherhood Center.

How are you feeling about Biden’s chances?

If we have a fair and free election, I feel good about them. But the politicization of the USPS funding that would properly fund operations (including expanded vote-by-mail), along with the news of Russia’s continued interference in our election…

…I’m scared. I don’t know how we survive 4 more years of this.

Are you devastated. by Taco Bell taking away the potato taco? I am so sad!

I’m more devastated by the spicy tostada and cheesy fiesta potatoes. DAMN YOU TACO BELL!

What precautions did your hair saloon take for you to feel comfortable going in for a cut?

My friend Ashley had visited the salon before I did and raved about their security precautions. There are mask mandates (they give you a clean one when you enter), temperature check and hand sanitizer before entering the salon area, and only one guest and stylist per 10 foot radius. There are plexiglass barriers between every seat at the shampoo station, and every chair and stool and counter is sanitized frequently.

I went to the Mark Ryan salon. Cassie did my color and Vanessa did my cut.

How are you and your husband doing? It’s a hard time for many of the couples in my life.

I won’t lie - we’ve had some rocky moments. We’ve fallen into some old habits of each of us trying to be the most right, jumping in to solve each other’s problems instead of listening, and just enduring the juggle of work and kids and living in a pandemic.

We are taking the evenings to spend time together (no phones, boys asleep) to sit in our patio with the lights on and a glass of wine - an at-home date, if you will - as often as we can.

How old were you when you had your first baby?

I was 30 when I had Rho, and 34 when I had Rhaki

Best maternity leggings?

Girlfriend’s maternity leggings were the ones I lived in.

Any recs on workout resources for someone recovering from a major knee injury?

I would ask your doctor for a physical therapy prescription.

What is your favorite scent? (perfumes, candles)

For perfume, I spritz Jo Malone’s orange blossom, followed by Molton Brown black peppercorn. For candles, I love Nest’s grapefruit candle. Lit Brooklyn is a new-to-me candle brand that is AMAZING. Their Muse candle is heaven (gardenia) - follow them on Instagram so you know when they’re available!