issue #104 - the one about your future self

We watched the third Bill & Ted film this week (it’s cheesy and nostalgic and glorious). And I’ve been thinking about something Ted said all week.

“What would you tell to your future self?”

The flipped version of this question - what would your future self tell present you? - is the more common one. I can think of the many things I would want my future self to tell me.

But what would I tell my future self?

I would tell her about the little things the kids say or do that make me smile, or the things I talk about with my parents. I’d tell her about the little things Sri does for me - bring me coffee in bed, order me Taco Bell when I’m stressed, the dad jokes he’s always cracking. I would tell her about my favorite spots in Central Park. The books I can’t stop thinking about right now.

I probably would spare her any talk of COVID or politics.

With the uncontrollable spread of the Delta variant, the politicization of pure science, and a lot of fear and uncertainty, things feel awful and terrifying and bad. And while coffee in bed or Rho saying “I love you mommy” will change any of these things, they do change my mood.

These are the things I’d like to remember when I’m older and have lived a lot more life. I started jotting them down in the Notes app (a tip I picked up from my friend Neha) so I don’t forget them.

What we read this week

Madison

• How We Fight Our Lives by Saeed Jones - Saeed Jones’ voice is simply unbelievable; this is true in any of his work, but particularly in this memoir. While the central pillar of the book is Jones’ coming of age as a gay, Black, Southern man, it also focuses on relationships and influence and decision making and consequences and power and resilience. Jones’ identity as a poet shines throughout the entire narrative, and left me with a number of lines stuck in my head, including, “Gay men dying of AIDS like it was a logical sequence of events, a mathematical formula, or a life cycle. Caterpillar, cocoon, butterfly; gay boy, gay man, AIDS. It was certain.”

Hitha

• The Betrayed by Kiera Cass - I LOVED The Selection series (well, the first 3 books) and had high hopes for this one. And while I was underwhelmed by The Betrothed, I was pleasantly surprised at how strong this series ended with this book. Hollis’ strength and intelligence is revealed, Etan’s surliness melts away, and you can’t help but get caught up in their story. I may have to re-read the first one - I think I’ll have a better appreciation for it.

The Top 5

1. Shelf Life: Jasmine Guillory (ELLE)

2. The one where we get smarter about how we divide up our workday (Your friend’s guide to entrepreneurship)

3. All the Bennifer Theories, Addressed (Vogue)

4. My Healthy Home: How Ethel’s Club’s Naj Austin Designed Her Brownstone Apartment to Promote Rest (Apartment Therapy)

5. Slow Death and Labored Breath: Listening To, Listening Through Inheritance(AAWW)

The Catch Up

Monday

• 50-year war on drugs imprisoned millions of Black Americans (AP News)

• “Protected Again And Again”: How A Fencer Made It To The Tokyo Olympics Despite Sexual Assault Allegations (BuzzFeed News)

• Hannah Waddingham on the Gift of Ted Lasso (Town & Country)

• University of Indiana’s Vaccine Mandate Upheld by Federal Court (National Review)

Tuesday

• As more kids go down the ‘deep, dark tunnel’ of long Covid, doctors still can’t predict who is at risk (STAT)

• First look: Battleground imbalance (Axios)

• Rebecca Minkoff on Motherhood, Failure, and Overcoming Fear (Glamour)

• The Simone Biles scoring controversy, explained (Vox)

Wednesday

• The charging travails of driving a non-Tesla EV (Axios)

• ‘This is how I’m going to die’: Officers describe horrors of Jan. 6 riot (Politico)

• How Do I Tell My Story of Getting Sober? (Harper’s Bazaar)

• FDA asks Pfizer, Moderna to test their vaccines in more children to help rule out safety issues (Washington Post)

Thursday

• ‘We walked 18 hours, no food’: Taliban advance triggers exodus of Afghans (The Guardian)

• Womanhood doesn't have to be so painful (Jill Filipovic)

• ‘I was drowning inside’: How the sports world failed when three Black women needed help (The 19th*)

• My Long, Messy, Beautifully Complicated Path to Adopting My Son (Marie Claire)

Friday (Madison)

• Discrimination Against Trans Parents Is a Human Rights Violation, Court Rules(them.)

• Restaurant workers across North Carolina say there’s no labor shortage. It’s a ‘wage shortage.’ (The Counter)

• Jackson County Looks To Join Lawsuit Challenging Missouri's New 2nd Amendment Law (KCUR)

• Natasha Pickowicz Wants to Get Into the Dankness (Grub Street)

Things we love this week

Madison

• This weekly newsletter is one of the most honest accounts of grief that I’ve ever come across. Amy, the newsletter’s author, lost her husband suddenly in August 2020. In her public grappling with this loss, I’ve seen flashes of my own experiences in losing loved ones in their teens and twenties. U.S. culture rarely embraces grief narratives, so Amy’s willingness to speak vulnerably and publicly is a very generous gift.

Hitha

• I’m obsessed with a handful of seemingly random things - space, the electrical grid, and the endocannabinoid system. And I’m not shy about talking about how Equilibria has helped me. Like drinking enough water, exercising, and sleeping, CBD works best when you take it daily (and I certainly do). EQ is holding an incredible sale, offering 50% off all subscriptions. Mine is the Extra+, but Calm+ or Relief+ would be a great place to start if you’re new to CBD and Equilibria. Disclosure - I have a long-term Instagram partnership with Equilibria.

• I don’t know what Prada is doing to me but it is making me want dubious accessories like bucket hats and extremely trendy bags. I’ve resisted the bucket hat for now, but I found a more affordable (and cruelty-free) version of the bag and I understand the hype. It’s roomy enough to fit everything I need (including my Kindle!), the pouch attached to the shoulder strap is the perfect size for my AirPods and keys.

• We stocked up on these FDA-approved home COVID tests…because Delta. While these aren’t as accurate as PCR (which we will certainly keep getting done, especially before and after our vacation to Rhode Island), they’re great to have on hand in case someone develops symptoms.

Take care of yourself, and please share #5SmartReads if you’re enjoying them!