issue #182 - the hyperfixation one

May 28, 2023

I was listening to Bad On Paper podcast’s May Three Things episode (this series is one of my favorites), and the conversation on hyperfixations made me feel so seen.

If you’re unfamiliar with this trend on social media, hyperfixations are the little things (meals, songs, outfits, etc) you repeat over and over until you’re sick of them. Hyperfixations in my health habits have honestly been a godsend when I’m climbing out of a mental health episode. Having specific meals, selecting workouts based on songs I’m loving, and specific outfits to reach for help me show up

My current ones are:

I’ve been using Substack’s Notes feature to document the little things that made each day (or days, in the latest installment). Many of these items are my current hyperfixations, and some are random fun things. If that’s your thing, give them a read!

Linking the earlier ones below: Tuesday, Monday, and Sunday

What We Read This Week

Hitha

  • The Boyfriend Candidate by Ashley Winstead - if a Roy Kent-esque gubernatorial candidate fell into a fake relationship with a Janine Teagues-esque school librarian over the course of a campaign, it would be this book - and it is an absolute joy to read. I needed this light, breezy read that both delighted and had depth. I highly recommend it!

  • Saints For All Occasions by J. Courtney Sullivan - I have been working my way through the expansive family history of J. Courtney Sullivan's "A Saint for All Occasions" for a few weeks, it's been a pleasure to keep coming back to. It's the sad story of so many families- the way we get lost in secrets and how secrets become the family bond over connection and truth. A perfect read for cozy Sundays.

  • Did You Hear About Kitty Karr by Crystal Smith Paul - If you love Taylor Jenkins Reid, then you need to read this book. In the present day, Kitty Karr, a famous white superstar diva, dies, leaving her considerable fortune to the three daughters of a wealthy, Black, celebrity family. In the past, a young single mother gives birth to a baby girl out of an act of violence. Switching between past and present, Crystal Smith Paul weaves an incredible story. This has shades of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, but more layered and nuanced. This would make an excellent series.

  • Stars & Smoke by Marie Lu - If you're looking for something a little different, this is a very enjoyable, fast paced action-romance. Think BTS/Harry Styles x James Bond/The Kingsman. Such a fun read!

  • Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld - To say I'm obsessed with this book is an understatement. Romantic Comedy, is just that, a romantic comedy in novel form. It follows the story of a woman who works at a Saturday Night Live type of show, and how she falls for the musical guest - who is supposed to be a world famous singer. Their relationship blossoms during the pandemic, and it's beautifully told, through their emails, texts, and exchanges. It's a gorgeous love story that had me sobbing at the end!

Top #5SmartReads Of The Week

The rest of the week’s reads (and conversations!) are below:

Your Questions, Answered

I signed up for a 1:1. Can’t wait to connect.I’m so pumped to chat with you! If you’re looking for tactical and specific advice on anything (career, work-life integration, startups, etc), you can book a session on The North platform with me here.

I really want to write a book. Tips on the process/finding an agent?My agent offers an incredible book proposal coaching program that is worth the investment. You’ll leave with a solid proposal and a strategy for the querying process, and I think it’s the best way to get started!

Is there anything that you really wanted that you weren’t able to get? How did you cope?I had really high hopes for We’re Speaking - hit a bestseller list, get some more press, etc. It took me awhile to accept that I had done everything I could (both in writing and marketing it,) and to let go of those goals I had WHILE still being proud of the book! My agent is the most incredible partner and she helped me reframe these feelings and get closure on them, an dI’m really, really excited aout starting the proposal for #3!

Time, a wise advisor, and giving myself a lot of grace helped me through this period.

Recommendations for new sheets and towels?My favorite towels are from Weezie - they’re fluffy, get softer with every wash, and I love the customization (piping, monogramming/personalization). If you like a lighter body towel, Quince’s waffle bath towels are excellent as well!

I love Quince’s linen sheets (in the summer) and Tencel jersey sheets (in the colder months).

Boy names! Indian mom, white dad.Well, I’m very partial to Rho(shan) and Rhak(esh) and highly recommend them! I also love Shaan, Neel, Deen, Bodhi, Akash (can call him Kash).

Your one advice to recent college graduates, please.I have two pieces of advice - establish a really solid wellness routine (meal prep, fitness, sleep, hobbies) and say yes to whatever you can while prioritizing your health. You will have the energy and the bandwidth to seize so many opportunities, and you have a golden opportunity to establish a great health foundation (it’ll only get harder to set this foundation as you get older).

Bit of a personal question but which city would you live in, if not NYC?

  • Washington DC, in a heartbeat

  • Denver, purely because I have a lot of friends and family there

  • London (have lived there once and would live there again!)

  • Singapore

Favorite spot/room in your house and why?Our family room! It’s such a cozy, comfortable space and I love curling up on the couch to read or watch movies or just hang.

Favourite healthy snack, favourite outfit and favourite song at the moment?Snack: string cheese, almonds, and some sliced bell pepper with hummus

Outfit: a bodysuit that Olivia recommended - that’s her affiliate link), satin cargo pants, oversized denim jacket, hoop earrings

Cher has been recurring theme in my Peloton workouts and Believe gets me SO HYPED UP. I want a Cher artist series!

I hope you find some rest this weekend, and some peace in your hyperfixations the way that I do.

xo,HPN

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