issue #55 - the one about race

July 05, 2020

“As the wife of a black man I fear every time he leaves the house without me.”

“As a mother of black sons I’m terrified to one day send them out into the world without me. One day I will have to tell my sweet little boys that the world does not like them and they will not be treated fairly or given the chances of a person of another color and that makes my soul die just a little bit every time I think about it.”

I will never know these fears. But they are the fears that millions of Americans live with every single day of their lives.

I wish I could say that this isn’t America and what we stand for, but that’s simply not true. This is who we are, and we must face our history before we can focus on a anti-racist future.

Early colonizers pushed out the Native Americans that called this land their home - and have continued to do so for centuries. The colonies were built on the backs of slaves, whose humanity went unrecognized until it became a matter of voting issue (and even then, they were still regarded as property). Migrant workers who pick cops, clean homes, and perform the essential jobs that keep our country running (and pay their fair share of taxes, mind you) are denied any protections or rights bestowed on its other residents.

This has always been who we are. But it doesn’t mean it’s who we have to be.

This post was my first step. But it’s not enough, to post something once and then go about life.

It’s about doing the work every single day.

I made a donation to Minnesota Freedom Fund, and I hope you do the same and give whatever you can.

I’m re-reading Me And White Supremacy (well, listening) and doing the work - the journaling challenges every single day. When I finish that challenge, I plan to sign up for The Great Unlearn to continue the work. And I’ll be reading all of these books.

I bought this book for Rho, and will be buying a lot more from this list.

I’ve pruned my Instagram account, and am focused on following BIPOC and allies.

I’ve been thinking a lot about non-COVID life, and what I will do when events and gatherings happen again. These past few days have me acutely aware of the many times I’ve been the only minority in the room.

Why me? And why ONLY me?

No more. I’m asking who else has been invited or is participating, and make sure that those campaigns and events look more like the country we live in versus women who look the same. I’m going to ask who else is on the panel before accepting, and I will decline if I am the only woman of color on the panel.

I’m going to do more. I have to.

America’s history - its dark, complicated, and yes racist history - has been written. The present doesn’t look all that different. But I refuse to sit by and let the future unfold in this image. Join me.

This is a great place to start.

If this is your first e-mail from me, welcome! In addition to writing the book How To Pack, I'm an entrepreneur and angel investor, an avid reader, and a mom of two boys (a 5 year old and a 1 year old).

Every Saturday, I share the 25 best reads from the Internet (culled from the daily shares on my Instagram), the books I've read that week, and things I'm generally loving at the moment. You can join the conversation on all these articles - and more! - in my Facebook group.

Looking for my packing list template? Here you go!

#ThingsILove This Week

  • Two fun features I did this week - I recorded an episode of Today We Tried about the work/parenting juggle right now, and I was quoted in the New York Times on how my husband and I bring work tools into our marriage.

  • A quick review of the spin bike I ordered from Amazon - it’s good, but it doesn’t compare with my Peloton. It works for me because I have taken a lot of cycling classes that don’t have the resistance/cadence tracker and I have a good sense of what resistance I need to come out of the saddle. I do love how quiet and lightweight it is - it’s easy to move around and I don’t have to put in headphones when streaming a Peloton cycling class. Skip the iPad holders and get this iPhone case to attach to the bike, and I highly recommend this weighted mat to put the bike on to create a solid foundation.

  • Nightgown dresses might be all the rage right now, but there will come a time when we want comfort and style and not have to opt for one over the other. Enter Rec Room - a line of dresses and separates that are as comfortable as loungewear with the style of ‘real clothes.’ The brand gifted me their tie front and sheath styles, which I will be living in for…ever? You can get $20 off an order of $100 with this link.

  • I’ve been doing more video projects lately, and Splice is my secret weapon for stupidly simple video editing. The app is easier to use than TikTok (in my opinion) and is…fun? As someone who’s had “do more video!” on her to-do list for a decade, I have this app to thank for making it a reality.

  • I’ve been so tempted to design my parents’ patio, but they’re not nearly as enthusiastic about it. Rather than investing in a dining or seating set, I bought two of these beach chairs and ottomans to safely enjoy the the space on nice days in PA, and we can easily take them back to New York with us. You can get $50 off your order with this link!

  • Things that have kept Rho occupied when I just need a second to breath or work - Treasure Trunk Theater’s Imagination Club (Rho loves both Adventure classes and Musical Theatre Fun, and both boys love Musical Adventure), Art For Kids Hub YouTube channel (Rho will sit and draw quietly for the duration of the entire video), Dragonbox Numbers (a math app that’s worth every single penny), and Jam With Jamie’s YouTube videos (which entertains both kids). I also signed up for The Jam Club and Treasure Trunk Theatre's Aladdin camp.

  • I also restocked all our supplies with a quick Office Depot order + curbside pickup (which was incredibly easy and gave me an excuse to get out of the house). Rho’s got new markers, crayons, printer paper, and ink (we have this printer and it’s excellent), and I restocked my beloved Post-Its and pens and mini legal pads (perfect for GRE problem sets and brain dumps). If leaving your home isn’t an option, they also offer next day delivery. It’s not the same as wandering the aisles and filling my cart with supplies (office supply shopping is one of my favorite kinds of shopping), but it comes close.

  • I’ve been a longtime fan of Summersalt, and am so honored to be a part of their #Summersaltsummer campaign. They gifted me the black/blue color way of my favorite Marina (I also own it in leopard), their palazzo pants (the greatest coverup ever), and their popular Sidestroke suit in pink and red. While I won’t be spending much time on a beach or relaxing by a gorgeous resort pool (instead, I’ll be running through the sprinkler or dipping my feet in a kiddie pool), I’m happy to have these suits to make summer feel a little more special. You can get $10 off your order with code HITHA10.

What I read this week

  • The Relentless Moon (ARC provided by NetGalley, out July 14) - I’ve been waiting for this book ever since I finished The Fated Sky a year and a half ago. The Lady Astronaut series is one of my security blanket reads, and I’ve been dying to discover how we get from Elma landing on Mars to here (which was the first piece Kowal published on the Lady Astronauts). The Relentless Moon occurs in parallel with The Fated Sky, and focuses on Lady Astronaut Nicole Wargin (who’s also the First Lady of Kansas). Wargin is a veritable Jack Bauer in this book - juggling her political wife and astronaut responsibilities while getting to the bottom of a plot to sabotage Earth evacuation efforts. This one took me a little while to get into, given that you don’t really know Nicole from the previous two books. But it picks up steam after the first third, and quickly becomes addictive. This series turned me into a massive Mary Robinette Kowal fan (her Glamourist Histories series is excellent, and she narrates Seveneves brilliantly). If you’re not a science fiction reader, her Lady Astronaut series is an excellent place to start.

  • How To Drink Wine (c/o Clarkson Potter) - “You of all people don’t need this book.” That was my dad’s response to this book, which he caught me reading one evening while sipping a glass of vinho verde. He was wrong. I did need the book, because there’s a lot about wine that I didn’t know. I didn’t know that champagne wasn’t just a region, but a process as well. I didn’t know what it was about Albariño that I really liked. I didn’t know that there are a whole lot of wines I should be giving a try. It’s a beautiful, smart book that makes for an EXCELLENT gift - so do yourself a favor and order a few copies. You won’t regret it.

Book Of The Month just announced its June picks, and they are GOOD. I LOVED LOVED LOVED One To Watch, and The Last Flight is a great thriller that both thriller lovers and non-thriller readers will enjoy. I picked A Burning, and can't wait to dive into it.

I’m building outmy Bookshop store, which will house all my favorite books in all the categories. Please consider purchasing your books throughBookshopandLibro.fm(use code HITHA for 3 free books when you start a membership) to support independent bookstores!

You can also follow me on Goodreads, where my NetGalley reviews are published.

Hitha’s Favorite Things

  • Libro.fm is my favorite audiobook app (it credits your favorite independent bookstore with the sale). Use code HITHA to get 3 audiobooks for the price of 1 when you create a monthly membership. You can find my favorite audiobooks here.

  • This is the only book club I’m a member of

  • my Amazon shop

  • my favorite vitamins (both their pre-natal and their essential one for women). Use code HITHA for 10% off your first 3 months.

  • CBD has been a lifesaver for me. Get 20% off your first order with code HITHA.

  • my favorite produce delivery company that supports small farms in the process. Use code COOKWME-NM5DMZ for 25% off.

  • the app to save #5SmartReads to read later

  • MasterClass is worth every penny. I watch them while cooking meals, when I need a break, and when I’m feeling unmotivated and I’ve learned so much from it.

  • the notebook that has changed my life (see how I use it here and here). Get 15% off with code HITHA15.

  • the marriage check-in my husband and I do every single week

  • my favorite workout - and why. Use code G37YVV for $100 in accessories (spin shoes, weights, headphones - oh my!). You can also follow me on the app (I’m hithaonthegogo) to see what workouts I’m doing, and join our tag #smartnsweaty.

  • Small Packages (one of my portfolio companies) is the curated gift box company I’m always talking about - get 15% off your order with the code HITHA

  • my ultimate kitchen essential (and one of my portfolio companies)

The Top 5

The Catch Up

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Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

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