issue #66 - the one seeking fulfillment

August 23, 2020

What fulfills you?

For me, it’s not work - not completely, anyway.

It’s an hour long walk in Central Park with my husband. It’s leaving my phone in my room in the morning and playing with my kids without freaking out about my inbox. It’s a FaceTime yoga-and-catchup date with a friend. It’s whipping up one of my tried and true meals. It’s picking a workout solely because Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors” is on the playlist. It’s climbing into bed and falling asleep before midnight. It’s an impromptu dinner at one of my favorite restaurants with one of my favorite people. It was watching the DNC Roll Call vote on Tuesday night, and marveling at the beautiful and quirky diversity of this country.

We need more time in the day to do what fulfills us. And yet, we’re on a hamster wheel of despair and stress and exhaustion. Our days are full of other people’s priorities and dealing with the never-ending uncertainty of living in a pandemic.

We aren’t meant to live this way. But we don’t have a choice.

This book and this article (from Tuesday’s reads) have me thinking about this a whole lot more.

I don’t have any answers on living a more fulfilled life. But I’m seizing the little moments in the day - 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there - for fulfillment.

I’ve also moved my Ask Me Anything sessions to my Substack. You can check out the latest one here.

What we read and loved

Hitha

  • Destination Wedding (ARC provided by NetGalley) - if you’re craving a Crazy Rich Asians-esque book and have an Indian Matchmaking hangover, this is the book for you. Destination Wedding paints a sharp and honest picture of India (the extreme wealth and poverty and those who live in-between), the struggle of not feeling at home in India or in the States, and twisting storylines that do get jumbled, but tie together in a Bollywood-esque bow in the final chapter.

  • The Vanishing Half- This book has earned widespread acclaim and praise and hype. And IT HAS EARNED EVERY WORD. Brit Bennett's The Vanishing Half is an extraordinary book that has all the things I love - a multigenerational story, diverging lives, flawed characters that you empathize with, incredibly beautiful writing. Throw in a brilliant plot - Black twins (who are White passing) who follow different paths, one pretending to be White and the other marrying a Black man - and you have one of my favorite books of the year. Moments of this book reminded me of Homegoing (another spectacular novel), and it also gave me some Kate Chopin vibes. But Brit's writing and story is uniquely perfect and strong, and I read this book in a single sitting.

Rachel

  • The Night Watchman: this novel is based on the true story of the U.S. government's attempt to terminate the Turtle Mountain Band of the Chippewa tribe in 1954. The cadence and rhythm of this book was deeply satisfying in ways I cannot describe. It's not a book I would gravitate towards naturally, so I wish I could remember who recommended it to me.

Hiwote

  • The Book of Delights: I’m currently reading this and it is - in one word - delightful. Each short story feels like your poet friend casually telling you about all the magical things he found over the course of his day. It’s also just incredible that someone committed to finding daily delight, which resulted in this book - what a great goal to set for yourself.

Neha

  • Where the Crawdads Sing: I am a mom to a very active toddler, and when I saw Where the Crawdads Sing available at my library pre-quarantine, I jumped at the chance to borrow it. Little did I know that would be the last book I checked out for 6 months. I finally prioritized finishing it this week and loved it. It was the perfect coming-of-age-murder-mystery that I never knew I needed to read but was the perfect SIP distraction. I look forward to the movie adaptation that has just found a director, and is being produced by Reese Witherspoon.

All the smart reads

Monday (curated by Rachel Sehestedt)

Tuesday

Wednesday (curated by Hiwote K Getaneh)

Thursday

Friday (curated by Neha Tiwari)

Things I Love This Week

  • Unf*ck Your Brain is one of my favorite podcasts, and I re-listened to two episodes this week - How to Get Sh*t Done and How To Increase Your Productivity. My current organization system is a bit of a shambles, but am going back to some tried-and-true solutions:

    • Checking my e-mails ONLY twice a day, and sticking to it. I’m tempted to delete the e-mail app from my phone, but I chicken out every time.

    • Using Evernote to keep a running task list.

    • Use Evernote’s Apple Watch app to record ideas and new tasks

    • Using my Silk + Sonder planner’s weekly spread for my daily to-do lists and limiting each day’s list to 7 items.

    • Blocking out my work blocks in my iCal, but leaving at least 2 hours empty for buffer time.

  • A few things I’m loving right now - Rec Room’s billow dress (gifted - use code HITHA20 to get $20 off your order), India Amory’s toiletry set, my Lily & Bean tote (I love the big one so much that I ordered this mini one), and Yellowbird hot sauce.

  • Rachel: I use these iPad clips to attach my iPad to my work laptop, and use it as second screen in Sidecar mode. It really works! Most of my job involves heavy emailing and comparing/updating language, so having a side by side screen at home is a life saver. It’s especially helpful if you happen to have an iPad and are a Mac user.

  • Hiwote: This woman’s stunning apartment is approximately the same size as mine. She has the decor taste I aspire to have.

  • Neha: I love this playlist I made on Spotify. I started it years ago and continue to update it when I come across songs that fit the tone (a bit melancholy + musically solid.) If you're in the mood for some introspection or need some soothing tunes in your #selfcare bubble bath, hit shuffle and melt away.

Looking for my favorite things? You can find them here.

If you like what I’m sending, please forward it with someone you love (or someone you don’t). Or both. Everyone could use some smart reads in their life.

xo, HPN

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