5SR - October 3, 2023

Today’s #5SmartReads contributor is Larell! She is a fractional content strategist and sexual health reporter. She helps neighbors reclaim their spaces via landscape design and interior decorating, homesteads on her tiny urban property, and provides floristry services for parties and gifts. At the core of her adventures is a deep practice Reiki and Medical Qigong, both of which she calls on when making art. In the background of this eclectic life, you can hear her little rainbow parakeet chirping her on.

Let Me Just Say This: Not Everyone’s A Hugger, Okay? (Shondaland)

A hug from a trusted person has the power to turn your day right side up. It’s warm and caring. Relaxing and safe. Then there are those stolen hugs from overly friendly yet highly tone-deaf “I’m a hugger” people. You know one. Or, yikes, you are one. I orbit a solid 4’ distance from everyone save my absolute closest kin. So, the reality of someone hugging me without my go-ahead makes me squirm.

Malcolm Venable unpacks just how inappropriate this “I’m a hugger” phenomenon is, especially in a post-lockdown world. “We’re also in a time when we understand more about trauma, PTSD, triggers, and people on the spectrum who may have sensory issues that cause them to become overwhelmed or uncomfortable by sensations, including touch.” A must-read for anyone particular about touch.

How Killer Whale Grannies Spend Their Time Postmenopause (CNN)

Whales are giving a whole new meaning to the “coastal grandma” trend. Turns out menopause is kind of rare in the animal kingdom. Not all female animals live past their reproductive years. But a new study found that up to five species of toothed whales (think orcas) experience life after menopause.

Researchers are asking why. Which did momentarily take my breath away. We’re questioning why they exist past fertility? I iced that fire quickly, though. Who am I to question the system of the animal kingdom? This fascinating piece uncovers what grandma whales are up to in the 20+ years postmenopause, besides being badass matriarchs of the sea.

Visibility Isn't Enough. We Need Bisexual Audibility (Mens Health)

Bisexuality Awareness Week came and went, but this article remains useful, especially if your crushes span genders.

The main gist is that bisexuals could stand to be more vocal about their sexuality in the name of visibility. “If a guy shows up at a gay bar in assless chaps, you know he's gay—or you assume he is. He could also be bi, but you wouldn't know unless he told you,” writes Zachary Zane. Bisexuals are still kind of finding their footing in the LGBTQIA+ space and beyond.

There is no stereotyped visual identifier for bisexuality. No collection of haircuts, clothing, mannerisms, etc. (Not that anyone’s sexuality is based on their appearance). So, Zane advocates for vocalizing it more often.

The article also does a great job of understanding why being vocal about bisexuality is kind of a pain in the ass. Bisexuality somehow makes you promiscuous, polyamorous, or kinky. I’ve noticed this, especially when sharing my sexual preference with men. I have to qualify with “monogamous” just to keep their fantasies in check. Insert eye roll here.

Four Ingredient Date Snickers (Feel Good Foodie)

Dates may look like wrinkly toes, but they are, in fact, a sweet and healthy dessert. Now add a spoonful of peanut butter, a coating of dark chocolate, and some sea salt? I don’t know how. I don’t know why. But it tastes exactly like a Snickers bar.

I wholeheartedly endorse this trendy snack. It’s a fun recipe to throw together on a slow evening or rainy weekend. Definitely go for salted peanuts and/or chunky peanut butter. I also topped mine with coarse salt. They freeze well, so think about stocking up!

Unwanted Romantic And Sexual Advances On LinkedIn Discourage Women From Using The Site (Fast Company)

If you’re a professional woman who has to jump on LI at least once a week (are all of your hands up?), check out this short and frustrating study.

Somehow, somewhere, the professional guardrails got ripped off of LinkedIn. Now, not only are we being pelted with highly personal stories from strangers, we’re, ugh, getting hit on. Can we not keep digital romantic pursuits to the thousands of dedicated dating apps?

Taking bets. Will LinkedIn recover from the free-for-all it’s turned into?